There is usually a mix of emotions during the breakdown of a marriage or relationship, individuals can experience feelings of denial, sadness, anger and relief which can change over time. It can be a challenging time in someone’s life.

During a relationship it is common for each person to rely on one another and to take on specific roles and responsibilities, for example, paying the bills, cooking, DIY around the house, dealing with insurances, organising the children’s activities and so on. Life without your spouse can bring feelings of anxiety and loneliness. It is important to think about who you can turn to after a break-up. Create a support network, a relative, a friend, a professional – there is nothing wrong with selecting all of them. Do you need emotional support? Practical help around the house or with the children? Financial support? Legal advice? I recommend you identify early on what support you will need personally and whether you will need any support for the children.

You and your spouse or partner will need to make informed decisions about your future, whether that is in the legal or mediation process. It is important not to not feel pressurised into agreeing to something you are not comfortable with and need to be in the right frame of mind in order to make decisions. There are benefits of seeking support from other professionals, such as a counsellor or family law consultant, as they can offer strategies to cope with any emotional challenges, which can complement the legal or mediation process.

It is important to look after your emotional wellbeing following the breakdown of a relationship, consider these tips:

1. Find someone you can confide in, consider whether a mutual friend is an appropriate person to talk to about your situation.
2. Avoid expressing your feelings on social media about your ex-partner.
3. Sometimes a professional can provide a different perspective, consider whether the right decision for you is to seek support from a counsellor.
4. Ensure you allow yourself some ‘me time’ and maybe try a new hobby or class. Ask a friend or relative to look after the children whilst you focus on you for an hour.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me on 07510 711453 or via my contact page. I am a specialist family and divorce mediator and offer appointments in Bristol.